I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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