I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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