In America we eat man semen.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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