If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
