I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
