The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
