She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
