yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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