Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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