so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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