Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
