Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
