I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
