i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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