R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
