i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
