I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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