It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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