I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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