i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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