you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
