Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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