Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
