My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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