Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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