I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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