I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
