Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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