This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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