I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The Olympian is in my bed
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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