Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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