Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
