If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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