Sry I called you an 8
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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