similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
