OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
