I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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