We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
