Don't you send me to vm
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
