We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My vagina just recognized that song.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
