is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
