I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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