I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
