No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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