Girls should come with a carfax report
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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