I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am mentally ready for anal.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
