stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize