it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
