I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
