i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
