Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We're too hungover to prance.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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