i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
