i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
