He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
